When I was growing up I thought that being liked and loved was the most important thing. In school, I was never the popular girl, the athletic person, or anything like that. Even if my so- called friends were mean to me, which happened a lot especially in middle school, I would just take it. In fear that I would be without friends. I would do anything to please them. And they took advantage of me.
As I grew older, I realized that if they were doing that then they weren't truly friends. Now at 25 almost 26 I don't have "friends" like that. But old habits don't die that easily.
I still have this complex that if I disagree or say something wrong that someone may not like me. Even people very close to me.
D tells me all the time that he loves me for me. But yet I still sometimes just want to agree with him when I don't. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's a fear of him not liking me anymore and leaving.
It may sound like something so simple for some, but being myself all the time is something I really do struggle with.
I consider myself a very truthful person. I don't lie. I hate liars. Trust is the most important thing to me in a relationship, yet sometimes I find myself agreeing with things I don't agree with or don't know anything about. For what? Why do I do this? For things that are so small, minuscule.
Do you ever feel like you don't know yourself very well? That maybe some people know you better than you know yourself? What are some good ways to get to know yourself better?
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