All my life...

...I had sort of a plan as to what I was going to do next. After Kindergarten comes first grade, then second, third and so forth. Junior high is after elementary then high school then of course college. I spent 6 years of college just to graduate. Then as of last May I stood in line at graduation with my cap and gown and I graduated. I had earned my college degree. This is what I had spent my whole entire life working for. Ok... so now what? Alright... get a job. Easier said then done. I had absolutely no idea how hard this was going to be. If I would have imagined my life 6 months after graduating from college it would not have been this. I'm f---ing broke. Not only did I have to get a roommate because I couldn't afford to live on my own but as of last weekend I had to get a second job. Yes, Becky will be working retail. I have not worked retail since high school. And yes I will be working Black Friday. Dear Lord I am not looking forward to that day. On one hand I am in a really rough place in my life right now but on the other I know I should feel grateful that I even have one job. I know there are a lot of people that don't even have one job right now. But damnit! That shouldn't be me. I have a degree from a good university with stellar grades. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!! Am I not trying hard enough? Am I not looking in the right places? I've become so frustrated with myself. I feel so completely lost. I feel like I have lost direction in my life. And it is SO not a very good feeling.