Faith

No not my awesome friend, Faith, but rather the other kind of faith.

Answers.com defines faith as...

1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See synonyms at belief, trust.
3. Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.
4. often Faith Christianity. The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.
5. The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith.
6. A set of principles or beliefs.

I have faith in a lot of things in my life. My family's unconditional love, that the Earth is orbiting the Sun, and that Spring will always follow winter. One thing that I have always had trouble having faith in is a higher power, a spiritual being, God. I was raised with my parents being from two totally different religious backgrounds. They tried to do what any 2 loving parents would do in that situation; they taught me and my brother about both religions. We celebrated both religious holidays and worshiped in both religious sanctuaries. They never forced us to believe one religion over the other. They wanted us to make the right decision, whether it be one of those two religions or something completely different, for us. They wanted us to figure out what we believe in and what works for us. Not just something that we were taught and forced to believe.

If I wasn't already in a quarter of a century crisis already now I have one more thing to add to my list. What do I believe? What do I have faith in? Is there a God? If there is, what difference does it make? Am I a Christian? Do I believe in Christ? Is the Bible actually God's words? How come some religions don't believe in Jesus? Was he really the Son of God?

Sometimes I feel like something is really missing in my life. That I am not completely happy. So I think, well maybe if I had a job I liked, a boyfriend/ husband, or a totally smoking hot body I would be completely happy. But would I? The thing is, there is no way I can answer that question. Would I be completely happy if I had God in my life? Some people truely believe the answer is yes. They say, put your life in God's hands and he will take care of you. I have a very good friend that believes this with 100% of his mind, body, and soul. Even if I wanted to do this, how would I go about doing so? Where do I start? Do I need to believe in Him first?

All I ever wanted in my life is to be completely happy. Will that ever happen? I hope so.