WTF body?

You are forewarned... in this post I will be complaining... A LOT.

So for the past 16 weeks I have been on the Weight Watchers program. It started out great! The first week I lost over 2 pounds. And for the next month or so it was up and down but mostly down (that's a good thing in this case) But for the past month I have not lost AT ALL. Ever since my birthday I have gained each week. Well one week I stayed exactly the same, but whatev. It's just not making sense. I'm doing the plan like I have always done it and it's not working. So, last week after a 0.5 gain I told myself "I'm going to stick to the plan like I've never stuck to the plan before. I planned my meals out for the whole week. I never ate so many fruits in vegetables in my life!! I went running and walking. I didn't do any other snacking. I wrote EVERYTHING down like I was suppose to. I didn't drink any alcohol or beer. I didn't go out to eat. I cooked healthy meals. I actually felt really good. Saturday morning I went to the WW meeting... I stepped on the scale... and the receptionist gives me a sad look. I said almost laughing, "what I didn't gain, did I?" She was like yeah 0.6 lbs. I nearly lost it! "You have go to be kidding me," I said. "That's impossible." I'm pretty sure she was just as dumbfounded as I was.

The thing is I know for a fact that this program works. A couple of years ago I did it very successfully. I lost 22 pounds. I know it works. Everyone that does it and sticks to it is quite successful. So, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's actually kinda scaring me. What if there is something wrong with my thirod? I dont know what to do about it. On one hand I don't want to keep paying for it if I'm not losing, but on the other I dont want to quit yet. I'm not a quitter and I'm determined to get down to my goal weight. Perhaps I should go see a doctor. Sigh....

Complaining FIN....

Just act like a man and not care

Since Pre- BF Mr. Invisible fell off the face of the Earth, I have decided something. I am just going to stop caring. Yeah you heard me, stop caring... about guys that is. I have wasted so many hours caring about guys who do not care about me. So, I decided I am NOT going to do that anymore! Anyway, since I made that decision I have been really happy. I have focused on other parts of my life that I really DO care about.

My health... I have never eaten so many fruits and vegetables this week in all my life and I have really come to love running.

Making movies... I have been editing The Storm's End for a couple weeks now and really realized how much I love editing. Parker Creek also teamed up with another small production company here in SA to film a 10 minute remake of Office Space (with a twist). I'm super excited to see how that one turns out.

Here I am making sure the actors get their lines right. Also, I don't think you can tell here but it was like a million degrees in this studio. We had to turn off the AC because we could hear it humming threw the mics.

My job... well that's another story. I found out that a girl there who has been there a year or two less then me, does not have a college degree or hardly a high school degree, who leaves at 2:30 everyday, and who doesn't even speak correctly makes $3.50 MORE than me. Yes, your eyes are not mistaken you. $3.50 more than me! I was SO mad. I couldn't even think straight. Not only is that not fair but it's not right in the least.

So, this whole not caring thing is what I have been calling "Acting like a man." If I guy texts me or calls me, I don't answer and forget to call them back. If they ask me out I decline saying I already have plans with the girls. But, unfortunately it's backfiring. Guys freaking like that! Ugh... can't they see that I just don't care anymore???!!!!

Weekend Wrap- up

This weekend was very sparatic (sp?) and random. But fun! I love it when you really don't have anything planned but it turns out to be a good time anyway.

Friday night I had the San Antonio Film Festival to attend since Parker Creek's latest picture was going to be featured. I'm not sure how prestigious this film festival was but it seemed like a good time none the less. I headed downtown to meet the cast and crew at Pat O'Brian's on the river walk for a drink before the showing. For some reason we decided to sit on the patio. Let me just tell you it was like over 100 degrees outside and I was shvitzing out of every pore on my body. I was sweating from places I didn't even know I could sweat from. Anyway, I snidely mentioned that I should pore the pitcher of water that was sitting on the table on my head and how good it would feel. One of PC's crew "J" said...

J: well why don't you then?
Me: I would if you paid me. (still joking)
J: Ok... I've jot $20. (totally not joking and lays money on the table)
Other guy at the table: I've got $45 (totally not joking)
Another guy at the table: I've got $4 (totally not joking)

So... everyone started putting money on the table. Well mostly the guys.



Next thing I know there is over $100 on the table. Another friend of mine there apparently needed the money was hot too so she offered to do it with me. Let me just tell you. It was so worth it. I got $76 and got to cool off for like 1/2 hour. But unfortunately someone got it on video. Oh well!

Then we headed over to the festival. I'm glad that I just earned some money because it is was $15 to get in. But it was worth it. I always love seeing out work on a big screen.

After that, one of the actresses we used for "The Storm's End" asked me if I wanted to go to a DVD release party with her. (I need to start practicing my networking skills for Hollywood don't I?) So I said sure! It was pretty cool. We mingled, got free booze, and danced a bit. It was a really random turn of events but it was pretty fun none the less. She is a pretty cool chick who has lived an interesting life so far.

Saturday, I went to my WW meeting and learned that I gained for the second week in a row. I know I did though. After my birthday week of eating out almost every night I was bound to. So I cheered myself up by getting a caramel lite frappuccino from Starbucks (only 3 points for a grande!) and went to Goodwill. I didn't find any clothes but I did pick up a cute Nine West purse for only $4!!! Saturday night I went out for Sushi with Steph and Julie. We went to a new place that none of us have ever been. It was suppose to be the best sushi in SA. And it was!!! While it was rather expensive it was SO worth it! After that we ended up at Faith's house (even though she was in N'awlins) to hang out with her oh so lonely hubby. We played rockband to the wee hours of the night and I lost my voice singing "Livin' on a Prayer."

Sunday, I spent most of my day sleeping. (I slept in till 1:30 PM) So, I watched HP4 and went grocery shopping.

It was great weekend! I hope this coming weekend is as eventful.

I have Friday off! I have no idea what I'm going to do. Relax is my only plan so far.

MJ

When someone passes, whether it be someone you know personally or someone the world may know you start to remember the times you've shared or your memories of that person. When Michael Jackson died on Thursday it made me start thinking about the memories I have had of him in my lifetime.

• When I was six, my Dad, brother and I took the Amtrack train to LA to visit my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. It was a three day long trip on the train. Since I was at the wise age of six I got to pack my own bag. And since we were going to be spending three whole days on the train I packed the essentials games, toys, and books for the long journey. One thing I regretably did not realize until after it was too late was that your bagage was loaded underneath the train only to be collected after your araival in LA. So, when it came time to change for bed that first evening we all realized that Becky did not pack any clothes for our train ride. I was suppose to pack a carry on for the three days we were going to be traveling on the train. Everyone knew this except me apparently. So for the next three days I wore the exact same thing. Stonewash jeans and a Michael Jackson shirt that was handed down to me from my cousin. It was a grey cut off shirt with purple sleeves attached underneath with a big huge picture of MJ on the front. I so wish I still had that shirt. It was ridiculously awesome.

• One Saturday while I was in Middle School I was flipping through stations on TV when I came across a marathon of The Jacksons: An American Dream. It was mini series that came out a couple of years before and whatever station I was watching decided to put all 4 1 hour episodes back to back. I started watching it and couldn't stop. I remember my Dad leaving the house and coming back a couple hours later and asking, "Is that still on?" But it was really well done. It was about how the Jackson 5 started out and became famous. I learned a lot about them and also realized that MJ didn't really get much of a childhood. Perhaps that was why he was so messed up in later years.

• Whenever I hear the song "Beat It" I think of two things. (1) The scene in Back to the Future 2 when Marty walks into the 80's diner in the future and they are playing it and (2) Weird Al's parody "Eat It."

• This has to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I know it wasn't made to be funny. But it truely is. I laugh every time I see it.

Michael Jackson was an American icon that will always be remembered He changed the face of pop music and shared his awesome dance moves and his amazingly talented voice with the world. Michael may be gone from this world but his music will remain forever.

"If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make a change."

-Michael Jackson

Dream Job

If I could do anything for a living, what would it be? Well it would be a photographer for Rolling Stone Magazine 1967 to 1997. Yeah, I know I know there are like three different things wrong with that but it's my "dream" job, right?

So since time travel hasn't been invented... yet... my ultimate dream job, would be an assistant director in film. Yes, I said assistant. I have always been sort of a follower. Not so much a leader. It seems like everyone in the film business wants to be a film maker, be the director. But I really enjoy the duties of being assistant to the director. Wikipedia describes the roll of 1st AD as the person who is "directly responsible to the producer and runs the floor or set." Wikipedia also claims that the production manager as well as the 1st AD are the two highest technical roles in film making. If you ever watch the credits at the end of the movie the 1st AD and the production manager are almost always listed first. I can't wait to see my name on the credits. It's not a matter of if it is a matter of when.

RIP

Michael Jackson
August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

Farrah Fawcett
February 2, 1947 – June 25, 2009

Men do not equal happiness

So, I was thinking last night while I was running, I had to think because my iPod battery was dead, that I have been relying on whether or not I had a man for my happiness.

I mean, I do what every girl, well maybe just me but whatev, does when they meet a guy. Fall head of heels even though I barely know him, start picturing our courtship, start planning our wedding, and naming our kids all with in the course of two or three weeks. I mean I have gotten better, but deep down I still think about those things. I did with Pre-bf, who should be known now as the invisible man. He was great in the beginning and then completely feel off the face of the Earth. At first I was completely heartbroken. When he didn't return my texts I would get all nervous and sweaty, pace around my house, do anything to take my mind of him. I felt horrible. But why?? Why was I letting this person, whom I barely even know, control my happiness and control my life? The more and more I thought about it, the more I realized how I was living my life. Letting them control me.

These questions also got me thinking more. Women spend so much of their time looking for a man, getting dressed for a man, getting in shape for a man. But why? Why can't we do these things for ourselves? Why do we spend SO much of our life thinking about the opposite sex? Do we all really feel that our life is not complete unless we have someone else there to share it with? Do we consider people failures if they never marry? If people die alone do we automatically assume they were sad too?

All these questions lead me to the conclusion that I have to be truely happy with myself before I find the right person. I have to really love me. Totally easier said then done, but I am more than willing to make these words a reality.