Quarter of life crisis and other worries

Everyone has heard of a mid-life crisis right? Well, that's nothing compared to my quarter of life crisis that I'm going through right now.

The big question is... WHAT THE F*CK am I going to do now??? Ok, so I have a college degree. Right now it seems as useless as a plastic bag caught in an updraft. (Yes, I know that is an American Beauty reference. I'm a film snob remember?) Anyway, every job I find requires 10- 15 years of experience or it's an entry level sales job which I DO NOT want!

Which has led me to several conclusions...

1) I would rather be poor and live in a box than have a sales job.
2) The job market really sucks right now.
3) The only time I am truely happy is if I am doing something that involves film making.
4) I have nothing holding me or keeping me in San Antonio anymore.

These several conclusions has lead me to another conclusion. Where is the one place in the US that is known for movies and finding your dream? HOLLYWOOD, CA! Well, I'm not entirely stupid. I'm not just going to pack my bags and hop on a plane to LA tomorrow or something. But, I'm seriously thinking about moving there.

So... I decided I should probably talk to my Uncle, who has been an actor out there for a good 30 years. Which I did tonight. Now I do have to say, I thought he would have all these amazing connections. But, when we spoke tonight he told me straight up that, while he does know a lot of people it still may be hard to find me a job. He did on the other hand say that he and my aunt would do ANYTHING they could to help me. Which really meant a lot to me. He also had some very wise words for me. Hollywood is a brutal place. He said you have to truely "have a fire in your belly" for you to become successful in that town. You have to grow another layer of thick skin, because rejection is a daily occurrence.

The question of the hour is what to do for now? Well, I definitely need to be making more money. While my car is fixed, it's still very old and it may not last much longer. Starting in November I will have to begin paying back my student loans as well as paying back my Mom all the money that she lent me while I was in school, which is actually more than I owe the government.

Anyway, this is kinda the mindset I am in right now.


What else... oh yeah! I asked The Guitar Hero to go with me to Molly's wedding. He agreed. Only if he could wear his chucks. LOL! Absolutely. :-) Now, while I am excited about this I am kind of nervous about it too. We've only been on two dates. So, I don't know them him THAT well. Plus I will be introducing him to everyone. So, guys... please be nice to him. Thanks! Also, BB will be there. Ugh... I hope he acts appropriately. Not a pretty sight when he drinks. He better not say anything. This is Molly and Phillips day... and nothing else should matter. I'm getting my hair done and I have a new dress. I can't wait to get all pretty :-)

That should be it for tonight.

Peace to all!

I forgot to post this video...

Molly was such a good bachelorette. She did everything she was asked. Even this...

Weekend Wrap- up

Friday

After work, my friend took me to pick up my car! Finally right? I was SO excited to see it. He even washed it and vacuumed it out for me! Thanks B!

Then I went home and cleaned my apartment because The Guitar Hero was going to come over later. He came over around 8:30 along with his XBox and you guessed it Guitar Hero! I think we ended up playing it for like two hours, then watched my favorite movie Back to the Future. I feel asleep for the most of it though. It was a great night in.

Saturday

I went to weight watchers in the morning. I lost 2.8 pounds this week! I have no idea how that happened! I tried to take a nap after that but I had too much to do get ready for the Bachelorette Party. We all caravaned up to Austin around 8. We made it there by 9. Checked into our hotel, and got ready to go out. We all wore a little black dress. Mourning the loss of Molly's singledom. We all looked very smoking hot!

This is what I like to call my before picture.

Molly dressed up in her Bachelorette gear!

Here is all of us in the elevator.

Erin and I while we waited for a cab.


This is my first free drink of the night at Pure. Looks pretty, right?

This is the awesome dance floor at Qua. There were sharks and sting rays swimming under us as we danced.

This is what I would like to call my after picture.



Sunday

First of all...

Sunday morning

Not so bad for having a hangover!

After eating breakfast at Trudy's... OMG! SO SO SO SO good! Steph and I went to IKEA. Ok it was my first time there... I went totally crazy. That place is so awesome! I have been looking for a new coffee table. And as soon as I walked in, I found the perfect one. Plus it was only $30!

Here's the addition to my home...





Now I'm going to go crash... only to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow! Ugh... my world keeps turning!

Catch-up

The Interview

I applied for a job that I found through Yahoo jobs. It said something like entry- level marketing/ promotions/ advertising jobs. So I sent them my resume. They emailed me back asking to call and schedule an interview, which I did for the following day.

I got the time off of work- no problem. I looked up the address and it is on the OTHER side of town... totally BFE. Ok, whatever. Maybe it will be with it. I leave an hour early, because I wasn't sure where exactly it was. When I arrived at the address I had was all ready to be craning my head upwards to look for an office building and what did I find... a glass, shady looking strip mall, conveniently located next door to a plumbing supply store.

I go in to a room about the size of someone's kitchen and there is a young woman sitting at a glass desk, probably purchased at Wal- mart, blasting clubbin music. Ummm... ok... still willing to give this a shot. She gives me a clipboard with an application I was to fill out. She pointed to a bunch of chairs where others were sitting with clipboards of their own busily writing on their own applications.

After I completed my application, I busied myself with inspecting the company's choices in artwork. There were the most bizarre random things on the wall, that I had ever seen. None of the them went together. There was one such "motivational" picture of a solider with a gun that said "BRAVERY" and another painting that said "Barcelona" at the bottom.

After about 10 minutes one of the two doors leading out of the small waiting area opens and youngish looking man steps out and calls my name. Right away, I could tell this guy was a tool. And by tool I mean the fakest most phoniest person ever!

The acctual interview went great! I answered everything great and with very clear and concise responses. I think the downfall came when I opened my portfolio up and one of my DVD's that I have all my creative work on fell out and under this guys desk. He picks it up and hands it to me.

Me: Oh, you can have that if you would like.
Tool: What is it?
Me: It's a DVD I made with all my creative work on it.
Tool: (looks at me strangely) Why would I need that?
Me: (excuse me) Oh ok. Thanks. (Did he just say that?)

I realized later that after the interview that this so- called company was not for me. It was all about sales, and plus I believe that I was WAY too overqualified to even be there.

The Date

I had a date last night! It was with this guy that I had been talking online with for quite a while. I would say a little over a month. For his privacy sake I'm going to call him the Guitar Hero, because I have never in my life see anyone play guitar hero like he did.

Anyway, so we met to play pool at the local pool hall. First of all, let me just say, he looked exactly like his pictures, which is a very good thing considering he is very good looking.

We hit it off right away. We had fun playing pool, him winning, me losing. He saw that I was getting pretty frustrated playing so he decided to teach me how to play, to give me a little lesson. He was a GREAT teacher. As soon as he taught me some good tactics I was hitting them in left and right.

After we left there we were both kinda hungry so, for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to got to Taco Bell. I was good though and only ordered one taco.

We went back to his place and ate our yummy food. I seriously haven't had Taco Bell in like two years. Yummers!

That's when he showed me his mad guitar hero skills. He played almost ever song on expert, pretty near perfection. I'm such a humongous dork though,that I found this slightly attractive.

We ended up talking after that for almost an hour.

All in all. I had a great time. He's smart, talkative, very funny, very cute, a good listener, sweet and so on. I hope that I get to see him soon. I'll keep ya'll posted.

It is now time for bed!

Car Drama Part 2

So, as of today I haven't had my car for two weeks! It has been up and it has been down.

First I thought I would have to buy a new car, then quickly realized that with the salary I am making now there is no way in H-E-L-L that I would be able to afford it.

Then my friend Stephanie's new beau told me he could fix my car for a fraction of the estimate I had gotten. I was so excited! I wasn't even going to have to go into my savings for this.

Then while he was driving my brown beauty to my house on Sunday, the timing belt broke. UGH! That's a death sentence to a car basically. I literally cried in the middle of Forever 21 when I found out this news.

Ok, well Steph's beau "B" said he will take care of it, he had a mechanic friend that could fix it. That was Sunday.

Now we come to today. I still hadn't gotten any word from him about it. He finally texted me around 6 o'clock this evening saying that I will probably need a new motor. Are you KIDDING me?

Ok.. I had to edit this section. The car is getting taken car of! But I can't really go into anymore than that.... Just know that's its going to be ok now. :-)

Who remembers...

... the TV show "My So Called Life?" I nexflixed the first DVD from the series. And man, it is as good as I remembered. This is what Netflix says about it. "Along with launching the careers of star Claire Danes ( who won a Golden Globe in the series' first and only season) and Jared Leto, this teen drama series garnered a loyal cult following before its cancellation after a mere 19 episodes." Makes me wonder why they canceled it. Just a random thought. But it also made me think about other shows that were really good but canceled after only a couple seasons. Any thoughts? These are the ones I came up with...

1) Freaks and Geeks (1999)
2) Brooklyn Bridge (1991- 1993)

Car Drama

So Tuesday I go to get into my car to go to work and... it doesn't start. WTF? It was working fine yesterday. I try over and over and over... but no dice. I called my work to tell them I was going to be late. I then called my coworker, whom I'm going to call The Director from now on, to see if he could come and get me. He said "absolutely!" What a great guy. Here is a rundown of my day...

Called the place where I get my oil changed.

He recommenced at place to take my car.

Went to work for two hours.

Called the tow truck guy.

Got my car towed. :-(

Had to WALK home from the car place... took me like a half an hour. Not too bad but I had to walk on a busy street. No sidewalks... a little scary.

The Director picked me up on his lunch break so I could go back to work for a bit.

Got a phone call at work from the mechanic. Here is our conversation.

Mechanic: It's not good news.
Me: Ok.
Mechanic: I didn't even want to call you at work, I felt so bad for you.
Me: Getting really scared now. Just tell me. I'm ready.
Mechanic: Well where do I start. My eyes get really big. Well first of all...

Then she begins to tell me everything that is wrong with my poor little Honda. Now it's not a new car by any means. It is a 91 Honda Accord. But you know those cars. They run forever and a day. It was my Mom's before it was mine. I remember I was seven when she bought it brand new. So it has seen its share of ups and downs.

Anyway, I digress. She told me with parts and labor it would be $900 to fix it!!! Oh sh*t! Thats not cool. I can't afford that at all! I can't even afford $400 let alone $900. So I said I'll be over there tomorrow to pay you for the tow and the service charge for looking at it.

So, now I need a new car. My good friend from work said I could borrow her car while she is out of town this weekend and then borrow it next week as well because her fiance will be in Japan, so she was going to drive his car anyway. What a good friend! I am going to wash it for her and vacuum it out before I give it back to her next week. That is the least I can do.

As for a new car. I can't as of now afford a lot. I figured I could afford $200 a month a most. And that is really pushing it. I applied for a loan today at a credit union here in town and look at me I have a credit rating of 766!!! Wow, I'm awesome! Who knew. And I was approved for a 10k loan at 5.4% interest. I was super excited. That is really low. For a 60 month loan at 5.4% interest my payments would come out to be $201.00 a month. Not too bad but still I'm cutting my expenses really thin. I'm hoping to get a better job within the next couple of months. Or else I will be totally screwed.

As for a new car... well a new used car... I'm not sure what I'm going to get. I'm having a hard time finding exactly what I want and more importantly something I can afford. I would only like to spend 8k so I have money for TTL and put the rest into my savings. But that is proving difficult. Because everything I find for that price either is 5 or more years old or has over 80k miles on it. So that's no good.

Urggg... I'm going car shopping tomorrow with Steph! Thank God for best friends! Where would I be without them.

Ok, after a long conversation with my Mom I'm off to do my budget. Lets see what I can afford. Top 5 worst things ever....

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Hey all! Sorry it's been a while since I've written. I need to get better at writing more. I'm not sure why I don't. I have nothing else to do. Except find a new job. I am still looking for a new job. As I have said before I just graduated from college in May and now I am looking for a job that is more like a career. I have been at the same place for almost four years now. While they have been good to me it's time to get out of there. I did NOT pay all that money for an education to be wasted. Not that it was wasted but you know... I got a BA in Communication Arts. Everyone I tell is like "what can you do with that?" Good f-ing question! I could do anything really. I would love to work for a radio station, advertising agency, PR firm... something of that nature. My true love is film making but, I have absolutely no idea where to start with that. I could pack my bag and move to LA and leave my screenplay at every Starbucks on every corner in Hollywood but, for some reason I don't think that would work. How do film makers make it? Do they all know people, that know people? And even if I knew people would I really fit in over there? It's so brutal. I would need to grow some super thick skin. Ugh! Where do I start? How do I know what I want to do? I feel a panic attack coming on.

Ok deep breath Becky. *SIGH* While we surely did need this rain today. It is making me super tired. I came home from work, feel asleep for a half and hour, cooked dinner, feel asleep for an hour, woke up watched the Bachellorette and now I'm doing this. Watching that stupid show just makes me sad. I know it's kinda fake but seeing two people in love just made me depressed. I know I don't need a man to be happy, but when you have one in your life that you are in love with it sure does make your life better. I know he's out there somewhere... it's just a matter of time.

Anyway... enough crying. I had a really good Fourth of July with my friends. My friends John and Faith had their first annual Hinchman Olympics. We were split into four teams of four. I was on the purple team. The games consisted of individual events and team events.

The individual events were Chubby Bunny... This is Julie dominating!



Bubblegum blowing... I got last place... * tear :-(



There was also darts... which John won first place for our team



Then Phillip played around the world... last place sadly... I couldn't do any better though... basketball is hard!



As for team events there was what we liked to call drunken relay race in which one person was to chug half a beer run half way around the track hand the other half to their team member in which they were to drink the rest and so forth. Meraciously our team won that event. I however after had just eaten a very big meal and drinking many a alcoholic beverage puked after my turn. What a combonation. Hey that's what holidays are for... or so I'm told. I don't have any pictures of that event because I was little preoccupied. The other events were watermelon seed spitting, three legged race, and a scavenger hunt.... which was super fun. Here are some lovely pictures...


Watermelon seed spitting... first place yet again :-)



A cheerleader pyramid for the scavenger hunt... I love Phillips expression... priceless


Reese wearing my bandanna... she looks so cute!

One of the tasks for the scavenger hunt was a picture of your whole team jumping in the air at the same time... we succeeded! Look at all those gold medals!

Phillip climbing a tree!

Check this out... a video of the Chubby Bunny contest... highly entertaining!

Ok... I'm done

First and foremost I want to say congratulations to my good friend Julie who just got engaged tonight! All of us knew for a very long time that he was going to propose... so now we can finally talk about it!

Also, I wanted to say Happy 2nd Birthday to my beautiful niece Zoe. I talked on the phone to her tonight and she said very clearly, "Bye bye Aunt Beanbag." (I think she meant Aunt Becky) LOL! Here is a picture of me and my sweet girl last year. She is so big now!



Anyway... on to my rant. So, I told you that M called me about a week and a half ago complaining to me about his girl troubles. Well, a week ago today I was driving home from my softball game and I get a call from him AGAIN! WTF! This time he tells me that he broke up with his girlfriend because she is too much like his Mom... who he has never gotten along with. Do I look like I give a freakin' A? The answer is no, I do not. After about 5 minutes of his whining, I say "Hey M, I gotta go."

Ok, so I'm SO not done. I was at my friend Erin's house last night watching a movie and my phone rings. And who could it be?? M calling yet again. I didn't answer. I'm done with him. What could he possibly say that I would want to hear about.

I'm just wondering why all the sudden he keeps calling me? Is he regretting breaking up with me? Or he's just bored and needs advice. I have no f-ing clue. Boys are weird. Especially this one.