Also...

I miss my best friend...



:-(

All my life...

...I had sort of a plan as to what I was going to do next. After Kindergarten comes first grade, then second, third and so forth. Junior high is after elementary then high school then of course college. I spent 6 years of college just to graduate. Then as of last May I stood in line at graduation with my cap and gown and I graduated. I had earned my college degree. This is what I had spent my whole entire life working for. Ok... so now what? Alright... get a job. Easier said then done. I had absolutely no idea how hard this was going to be. If I would have imagined my life 6 months after graduating from college it would not have been this. I'm f---ing broke. Not only did I have to get a roommate because I couldn't afford to live on my own but as of last weekend I had to get a second job. Yes, Becky will be working retail. I have not worked retail since high school. And yes I will be working Black Friday. Dear Lord I am not looking forward to that day. On one hand I am in a really rough place in my life right now but on the other I know I should feel grateful that I even have one job. I know there are a lot of people that don't even have one job right now. But damnit! That shouldn't be me. I have a degree from a good university with stellar grades. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!! Am I not trying hard enough? Am I not looking in the right places? I've become so frustrated with myself. I feel so completely lost. I feel like I have lost direction in my life. And it is SO not a very good feeling.

Change...

It's a word that we having been hearing a lot lately. Our country has a lot change coming its way. But so do I.

One major change for me is that my best friend Stephanie left yesterday for California. She will be there for about 5 months. (She got a temporary job there for the winter.) While I am very happy for her for this great opportunity I can't help but feel a little bit selfish.... I'm going to miss her... A LOT. It really didn't hit me that she was leaving until this past Monday when I said goodbye to her. I gave her a great big hug said "see you in April" and got into my car, drove away and started to cry. I guess I didn't realize until then what a big part of my life she is. I mean I always know that she is... it just really struck me at that moment. I know it's just 5 months and she will be back but still... that's almost half a year. But on the other hand I am so proud of her. She got this great opportunity to do this job and instead of saying "no, I can't leave my boyfriend and my friends for 5 months," she said of course! She is a very strong person that realizes a great opportunity when she sees it. Maybe that's why she is such a good friend, because I look up to her. She is confident in who she is and what she wants to do with her life. She trusts herself enough to move away from everything she knows for half a year to do something that she loves. That is the person I long to be. As for now I'm working on it.

Ok enough tears...

I've come to a rest with my dating. At least for a while. I have gone on about 4 first dates in the past couple of months and all of them have been pretty disappointing. The last one was a complete waste of time except for the free movie and dinner.

1. He answered his phone during the movie... that's a cardinal sin in my book... then left the theater for almost ten minutes to talk. THEN had the nerve to ask me when he got back, "So, what happened?" I said, "You're kidding right?"
2. We went to Johnny Carinos for dinner and he says to me,"I don't normally go to fancy places like this." It took every fiber in my being to not fall off my chair laughing. I wonder what he thinks is a non fancy restaurant... Whataburger?
   
3. He wore his baseball hat during dinner. Ok while Johnny Carinos isn't a "fancy" restaurant as he claimed it was, at least take your hat off during dinner. Didn't your mother teach you better manners?

Lets hope some change will come to my life soon. I so desperately need it.

Election Day!!

Just a reminder to go out and vote today. Do your duty as an American and vote. Should be very interesting tonight. For me I will be glued to my couch watching the election results.

Gotta love this!

Has anyone else seen this? I was crying I was laughing so hard when I saw this!

You're not going to believe this!

Ok... so Saturday Stephanie, Molly, and a couple other friends and I went to go see Chicago (the musical) at one of the local theaters here in town. It was great! And it was only $20. We had a really good time. Except for one thing. During intermission I was in line for the women's restroom, and it was a pretty long line. I was chatting with this nice woman behind me (her son was in the show) When this older lady, maybe in her 50's 60's, comes out of the restroom exclaiming how long the line was. Looks at me and says...

Lady: wow this line is really long. They should really let the pregnant ladies go first (points to me)
Me: my mouth hanging open... the blood is slowly rising to my face
She walks away... but then comes back
Me: Did you just call me pregnant?
Lady: Looks at me like a deer in the headlights and walks away.

Just FYI... I wasn't just a little bit miffed... I was full fledged PISSED OFF! A woman does not just say that to another woman unless she is about to pop. Ok, yes I was wearing an umpire waist shirt but I don't think I looked in the least bit pregnant! My friends were very comforting. Saying things along the lines of "You do NOT look pregnant Becky." And "That lady was stupid Becky, F*ck her." and "You look stylish and beautiful. She's just jealous." Just goes to show you that I have great friends. Love you guys :-)

Yes I am alive...

unbeknowinst to you all. I just haven't felt like blogging in a while. I am finally all moved into my new place. I love it! It's huge... well I guess anything is huge compared to my old place. Also, so far so good on the roommate situation. She is really down to earth and sweet. We get along great! I kinda like having someone around once in a while you know...

Lets see what else... I still hate my job. But I figured nothing is going to change unless I make it change. So I am applying for anything and everything! I have just been going on to monster and craigslist and applying for whatever I see that looks slightly interesting. I have also come to the conclusion that I may need a second job in the mean time. All of my savings are gone. And I WILL NOT go into credit card debt. So... I'm not sure what kind of job yet but something to give me a little bit more money.

I finally figured out what I am going to be for Halloween! But it is a surprise! So you will just have to wait and see until I post pictures. It is pretty original so I am sure no one else will have it at any of the parties that I will be attending.

In other news my uncle (the actor) is shooting a movie with my favorite directors right now. The Coen Brothers! When I heard this I almost fainted I was so excited! Maybe he could get me an autograph or something! I would just die. If you haven't seen No Country for Old Men then you need to go rent it right now! It was one of the best movies of last year.

Nothing really new in the guy department. I have been on a couple "eh" dates but nothing that gave me fireworks yet. We shall see. I kinda like not having to worry about a guy. It really gives me time to concentrate on myself.